When I feel behind

When I feel behind,
and trust, I feel that way alot,
I like to know the number of
dollars that sit in my peer’s bank account,
so I can calm myself down
with the assurance that
he is also behind.

When I feel behind,
and believe me, there is not a day
that I don’t feel that way a little,
I like to hear a new couple
arguing, so I can remember
that I only have to argue with

When I feel behind,
and Whoa Nelly! do I feel that way today,
I like to average out the number of likes
on various friends’ social media accounts
and compare it to fragility of my
own shaking subconscious.

When I feel behind,
I’m not really myself,
I do a lot of counting
and a fair bit of comparing,
but I never get ahead.