At night, before the day comes

I must convince myself that I am not afraid.
I must lean into it.
Face the day –
However dreadful.

The way I see it, I have three options:
Die.
Stay.
Or lean.

I’ve thought much about the dying way.
Meditated.
Romanticized.
But I cannot. I don’t have it in me.

I have done more than think,
About the staying way –
I have lived it for many years.
Found the rhythms in being still.

I’m left with lean,
And the want to move.
I must face the day,
Even though, it will often be dreadful.