Saved by the sky

I am standing.
Very close to the edge.
So close, I can hear feedback in my ears.
I can hear it swelling; growing louder.

I will not open my eyes.
I do not dare look and see.
All I need is sound.
All I need.

I am a man.
I am grand as music and tall as time.
Please let me unwind.
Please.

Do not come any closer, my dear.
Do not come any closer.

The sky is saving me.
Your job is done.
I release you.

How great it is to be free.
How lovely the sound the mountains make.
This rock is soft, so I carve.

I am above the line where the trees die.
Do not come any closer, my dear.
Do not come any closer.

Never too loud

It will be alright. And if it’s not, then I will hold.
We will be alright. And if we’re not, then hold me.

Say something soft to me. I’ll say something back.
Never too loud.

Your body is my palace. I know your gates and spires.
You are my fortress and I am your tall tower.

Your breath in my lungs.
Never too loud.

We are bending and spinning, but we don’t break.
We let the water fall over us and listen.

I have never known someone like you.
Never too loud.

Without sound you speak. You dazzle.
You are weightless and airy.

Can I keep you?
Can I keep on holding?
Can I say something?

I promise

Never too loud.

A Prayer

Lord,
Can you hear me? You say you know my pain, but most of the time I’m not so sure. I don’t know your voice. I don’t know your touch.

Lord,
I don’t want to know you and yet, I always will. I can see when I’m not looking, but when I look; I never find.

Lord,
Let’s make music together. Let’s write poetry. I am made up of You. Where do I end, Lord? Where do you begin?

Lord,
The snow is singing. The night knows no words. Could you speak into the emptiness? Could you speak like you did before?

Oh God,
I can see your light shining under the words I’ve written. Under my eyes too.

God,
What is your favorite sound? What blade of grass do you cherish most? Look at the birds of the air. Look.

I will place none above you, Lord. I will place none above you. I will place none above you, oh Lord. None.

Speak to us. Speak even when we won’t listen. Give us hope to get through the day. Give us each other.

I am one man, Lord. I know you can move in me and through me. Show me how.

You are quiet like light moving through time. You are big and I am small. Make something of my slightness. Make something much more. Show me how, oh Lord.

I want to love you. I want to love you but I know very little of love. I do not know its vastness. Teach me.

Do I bear witness to your light? What do you say about me in your great celestial halls?

I am one man, Lord.

I know I have lived very little, but in that short while, I have determined loyalty to be a trait I value most sincerely. Am I loyal father?

Will you take me when I’m all used up? When my body is nothing more than filthy rags? Say you will.

Overwhelm me, Lord. Overwhelm me and when you’re finished. When you’re finished Lord.

Use me.

Learning how to hold

Radiant one,
How soft your gentle eyes
How your skin glows.

You thrash,
Whip paint at the canvas
How your hands hold.

You speak,
Never in complete sentences
How your mind grows.

You laugh.

And so do I.

Oh, this moment in time,
To hold your head up straight
And wait.

If only your mother could see you.
If only she were here to say,

Stay.

If only for a little while.

Put the knife down you’re hurting me.
Hurting me because you’re hurting you.
Wait little bird. Wait.

The sun will rise and you’ll see.
You’ll see this night will break.
This sad will stop.

Stop.

Stop it Radiant one.
Give that to me.
I want you to see.

The story of the forest

fall_forrest

The moss wraps around the tree. My arms wrap around you. I was once a tree. Once slender and tall. Once mighty and strong.

I am therefore I am. Are you?

You were like the leaf. Red and yellow in fall hoping for the green of spring that you’ll never be again. I pluck you from a branch and you snap.

I am a tree in the story of the forest. You are a leaf in the story of the tree. You and me.

We both fall down. You from my hand and me from well, time I suppose.

Can you remember walking through the trees? Can you remember falling in the leaves?

These woods know my name. They echo and creek. I make the sound of a wolf and you hide behind me.

We laugh more in the woods. You say my name like the wind rushing through. Me and you.

I will never depart.

I will never run and hide.

I will never lose you.

What will you never?

To whom it may concern

To whom it may concern:

I have been diving in the depths. I am not sure when or if I’ll see the surface again. I am in too deep at this point and that’s alright. Sometimes, I see rays of light. I see the loose particles floating. I am also floating. You are also floating. I close my eyes and listen to the sound of the sand far below me. If I am quiet, I can hear it raking against itself. Swirling and falling back from where it came. Getting nowhere and going nowhere and that’s alight. It’s sand after all.

I am a vessel. A time and place. My hollow lights flicker. I am a house for my longing soul. I am a home.

I can hear your breathing. Like a child listening to his mother’s heart beat in the womb. Before there was thought. Before there was time. Before there was life. To whom it may concern:

I am still here.

Winter

It’s raining and the ground is covered in snow. It’s sloppy wet like a kiss from grandma at Christmas time when you remember to wear the sweater she knit you. Raindrops cling to brown branches and swell.

Then they fall.

Remember fall? Fires in friend’s backyards? A man I have never met once said, “I love all the seasons and how they stretch me.” I feel the most stretched in winter. I’m always a day away from depression, but I still love the snow. Still love the quiet that is only known by a December night. Still love you even though we’ve never met.